Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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