it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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