trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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