Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
