Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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