so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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