I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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