Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
