It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
