Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
