Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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