Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
