doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize