we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.