I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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