Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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