This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
