Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
