i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
