Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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