Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
