i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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