it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Randomize
