life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drunk is a universal language darling
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
