Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
