I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
