It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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