On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I party with great urgency now.
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