so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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