do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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