Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
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Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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