your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
