so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pants are for mortals