Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
