My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
