he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
