I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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