I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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