K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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