Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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