I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
