this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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