I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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