New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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