Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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