Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
