She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
