he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
