So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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