By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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