my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
