I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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