I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The air taste purple.
Randomize
