I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
