:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
