i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
