I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
