why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
