haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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