We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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